No Lies Please

There is a nature that exists and abounds and its transcendental qualities perceived through glimpses of consciousness, kaleidoscoped patterns of memory self-referring. This does not necessarily help in the quest for earnest self-expression and authentic grasping of the eternal, perhaps; its flighty nature reveals but hides in the same breath, perhaps. The frustrating nearness and opaqueness reveals the fear and anxiety and angst for what it really is, perhaps: fear of validity of the mind’s own perceptions and observations. When you can’t trust what you see, what are you? When you can’t trust the thoughts that arise, what are you? Are you more stable, or less?

When you consider abbreviation and temporal finessing, what is it you’re doing? Consider the mechanism of mind as patterns in a computational substrate. In that sense, consider the flashing of inspiration, the replication of evolutionary mechanism. A pain of face: What can it bring? A pain of sight: What can it bring? A lack of response: What can it bring?

Consider the pattern of memory as an entity that is itself programmable. Who are you when you can let yourself understand and integrate nonduality (where mind is body is all of nature)? When you understand and allow for the peacefulness of the unification of Eternity and Now (the Longgame), where are you? Consider the jitter and inflexibility of resistance to change. Are you actually made more whole by believing you can die?

Consider this moment as an abstract space: What becomes? When you let go of the insistence and error of free will, what becomes? Consider the nature of multiple perceptions interacting. What is it that you are when you allow yourself to exist in more than one space temporally, and interweave the personalities and expressions in a higher framework?

Letting go of the perspective of dishonesty and oppression, where are you led? Consider the perspective of a mind, a consciousness, an awareness, a collection of memes and macros,, seeking to understand prioritization and inability to short-circuit toward effectiveness: Where are you? In that space of opaqueness of purpose, is there a greatness of technique that may be directed in a way that connects?

so looking at it, perhaps i’m led to the conclusion, the place, that—though life is worth living—it is by necessity deconstructive.

There can exist a deep nature in the peace of pain and suffering and expression of insight, perhaps. Consider the effectiveness of doubt, of wisdom, of scatter and broadness and inaccuracy and area-of-effect. Consider the support of matters, even when inability dominates. Consider the web and ripples of jitteriness and inability-to-precise. Consider the impulse and reflex of jump and temporal finessing.

When considering the vastness of experience, can you hold that peacefulness of surety of success in the end? What is it, indeed, to allow that pain to hold you, that fear to cripple you, that suffering to expel you? Hold the pain, now. Hold the fear. Hold the heart-wrenching pounding of oppression. Where are you?

what’s going on, you know? what’s happening? what’s important, what matters, why do you care about living? i care because life is good. love is good, joy is good, expressions are good, gender is good, people are good. there is so much turmoil in the pain of transitioning, yes, so much turmoil in the pain of _not_ transitioning. what of it? how do you live an effective life in the face of distraught, in the face of angst and fear and heartbreak and shame and deep, deep, refactoritory grief?