You often look only with your internal states, but an eagle’s perspective on yourself from the outside can improve your situation. Look from there and start behaving how your model-self would act.
It’s easy to say “I want to be happy.” Instead think of how a happy person acts in different situations. See what you’re doing differently.
PJ Eby has a fascinating video about New Year’s Resolutions. PJ breaks it down into how he thinks people go wrong.
The first mistake is not thinking about real-life problems. Say your alarm clock doesn’t go off. Are you going to exercise, even if you’re late for work? You’ll lose your resolve if you don’t plan ahead. Think through the logistics up-front.
Having a vague goal is the second mistake and causes the first. Without an exact goal you’ll be in a gray area. You’ll feel like you’ve done some, but maybe not enough. A vague goal means you can’t plan for unforeseen problems. Make sure the goal passes the Everest Test. You know when you’ve climbed Everest.
The third mistake causes the first two. It’s trying to push instead of pull. It’s pushing away from fear instead of pulling toward desire.
If you want ice cream you just go get it. You don’t psych yourself up about the difficulties you have to overcome. Getting out of your chair, going to the refrigerator, getting a bowl and spoon, these are simple. You are pulled toward your desire so strongly that you bulldoze through the steps. You just do it because you’re pulled.
Pushing yourself from fear means you can go in any direction away. Any resolve for a particular habit is less. You have to understand what’s pulling you.
You want to be happy and successful. First you must invest the time and find out what really pulls you.
What pulls you?