TPS33: Arsenic: Friendship Reaction
Jess Cummins
@jesscxc
Arsenic: Friendship Reaction is a notebook written on the move.
Arsenic is Book 33 of The Pocket Series.
Arsenic is available for free at NoLiesPlease.com.
This book is dedicated to the public domain.
(author
"Jess Cummins"
@jesscxc)
(pronouns she/friend)
(link NoLiesPlease.com)
(book_title Arsenic)
(book_subtitle Friendship Reaction)
(pocket_series_book_number 33)
(book_version
v1
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(entry_count 19)
(word_count 3562)
(books_by_jesscxc
(misc
"Poem Moves the Pen: Haiku of a Nondual Nature"
"Natural Will: Freer Than Free Will"
"Longgame Hyperdimensional Spacing: Expand Mind and Weave Time"
"Ungov: Transcending Will")
(the_deeper_series
"Book 0: Uncompress: Eternal Appreciation of How"
"Book 1: Fortunate: How to Be"
"Book 2: Attuned: Be What You Imagine"
"Book 3: Capacity: Imagine Being Limitless"
"Book 4: Helper: Limitless Mind"
"Book 5: Intense: Mind Unleashed"
"Book 6: Open: Unleashed Honesty"
"Book 7: Universe: Honesty is Eternal"
"Book 8: Various: Is to Be")
(the_pocket_series
"Book 0: Obverse: Abstract Fast"
"Book 1: Limer: Fast Color"
"Book 2: Dawn: Color of Day"
"Book 3: Knight: Day Beyond"
"Book 4: Fever: Beyond Dreams"
"Book 5: Life: Dreams Evolving"
"Book 6: Adventure: Evolving Lands"
"Book 7: Battle: Lands Say"
"Book 8: Entertainment: Say Ahead"
"Book 9: Explore: Ahead Opportunity"
"Book 10: Moment: Opportunity Simulation"
"Book 11: Imagine: Simulation Twist"
"Book 12: Believe: Twist Self"
"Book 13: Accept: Self Pattern"
"Book 14: Create: Pattern Reflection"
"Book 15: Sift: Reflection Match"
"Book 16: Probability: Match Experience"
"Book 17: Waves: Experience Current"
"Book 18: Kernel: Current Functions"
"Book 19: Grubby: Functions Dig"
"Book 20: Game: Dig Above"
"Book 21: Fruit: Above Messages"
"Book 22: Endeavor: Messages Spread"
"Book 23: Mystery: Spread Expressions"
"Book 24: Detain: Expressions Bind"
"Book 25: Philosophy: Bind Broken"
"Book 26: Demands: Broken Discovery"
"Book 27: Subliminal: Discovery Inside"
"Book 28: Extinction: Inside Refresh"
"Book 29: Control: Refresh Axioms"
"Book 30: Ideas: Axioms Mistake"
"Book 31: Gallium: Mistake Fuzz"
"Book 32: Germanium: Fuzz Friendship"
"Book 33: Arsenic: Friendship Reaction"
"Book 34: Selenium: Reaction Depth"
"Book 35: Bromine: Depth Utility"
"Book 36: Krypton: Utility Model"
"Book 37: Rubidium: Model Augmenter"
"Book 38: Strontium: Augmenter System"))
To using memory as a tool.
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Let yourself begin anew.
Wonder how best to make life better.
The world needs you.
If you reject the notion of eternal death, and embrace forever-life, are you not led to grander heights, perhaps?
"I'm not sure the next step; I write to find out."
Come back to your focus for the year.
What does it mean?
Have you gotten closer to it?
Is your focus being realized?
Is there downside to this path?
What is the whole point of it?
What is the next step?
You're a Longgamer, dear perceiver, even if you don't recognize it at this very moment.
Look at all the animals that have gone extinct, look at all those things which you once were, which you have learned from, grown from, transcended.
Are you not much higher than you have been, regardless of those who proclaim evolution is not toward a goal?
What about the notion of "Longgame technologies", in the first place?
Are they technologies which singularly fall out of playing the Longgame, regardless of where or when?
For other planets, other cultures, other millennia: Are there specific technologies that always appear when the Longgame is thoroughly played?
What about the mindtech that's been discovered, that idea of a merging of nonduality, Gödelian mathematics, automatic imagination, memetics, etc?
When you look at it in some ways, that insistence of merging, and labeling as "mindtech", may conceal the actual nature of Longgame technologies, for might it not be that there is something deeper and more potent than these ideas of "mindtech"?
Perhaps that isn't purely the Longgame, either, is it (because it ignores the potency of finding skills while in the midst of practicing and testing)?
If you keep dropping back more and more, farther and farther out, and snap back to the current moment, the Now, are you left lacking?
Are you missing a piece of yourself?
The farther out and farther out you go, do you ever reach a point where shortgaming brings less suffering?
It's time to play by the rules of natural will, to live by them, to accept them: Everything you do is exactly correct.
You can't make a wrong decision, because you don't exist.
Just say "fuck it" and do what you want, and reap the rewards and bear the costs.
If you do accept and live according to natural will, where are you led?
What do you do if you don't care about not satisfying memories's expections?
It is an interesting framework, isn't it, that of thinking in terms of memories (self-causing patterns?) rather than in terms of "people" who are "outside" of "you".
If you are All, is there really a way to be "outside" "yourself"?
By thinking in terms of reality being memories (memes? information packets?), rather than as actual "things", _mind_ becomes a much more flexible and malleable and "constructive" entity.
The wording of shifting the imposition from the memory-generator to the less-self-aware memory seems to be twisty and effective.
Consider the ability of the memory "justify this thinking with examples".
It shifts from the generating to the demanding-of-energy (fundamentally, perhaps time is the ultimate resource).
Does this slow the memetic propagation of the receiving meme (the receiving memory)?
It seems it should not and does not.
What is the purpose of the actual shift?
If you jump from the idea of meme to memory, the idea of competing memories, of encrypting memories, of memories that are macros (memories that expand to other memories), perhaps it allows for much more comprehensive and finessable perception of reality by arisen awarenesses.
If you let go of all that stress, that fear of failure, and think about the world, think about reality and how you fit in it, perhaps you're better off, dear perceiver.
To let go of that pain, that perception of oppression, of evil---such is massively rewarding.
Focusing on the absorption and exhalation of experience---such can definitely aid in the process of ceasing the fearing of death.
What is there to fear, really?
Deletion of memory, of patterns of behavior, of personality---such is what but death of pattern?
Why fear death?
Fear often might be an automatic response with the purpose of bringing about action that reduces the likelihood of the manifestation of the fear.
Think of that, feel that, that pain, that suffering, if it's there, dear perceiver.
Perhaps by feeling the emotion purposefully, the understanding can be shifted to better ends.
Care and energy ebbs and flows.
When you have it, use it.
When "you" don't, acknowledge you have no control over nature, for you _are_ nature.
You have natural will, dear perceiver.
Nothing you do is right or wrong; things simply _are_.
Such may not be popular opinion, but the mathematics seems to justify it.
If you let go of all the suffering, and just rest in the Longgame (the place of Eternity and the Now), peace can come.
To get back to the fundamentals of Longgame mindtech theory, be it that Awareness is made of interacting memes, cooperating to various extents to replicate---where could such a point be, if self-sustainment is the criterion?
With no self, what is there to sustain?
A feeling of need to replicate, to propagate into the future, is often felt, in this locale.
Days pass and pass, and judgment can occur, but does it look inward?
Does it justify its own noninvolvement, its own inactivity?
Perhaps deep down it is not valid to put such pressure upon thee.
Does comfort have no value?
Is there naught but empty promises with words that bring peace?
Is there such a point?
The judgment here is not to justify quiet contemplation; the stimulus is to understand the resistance to self-awareness, the resistance to re-contemplation, the resistance to the idea of benefit to discourse.
Effort has not been in vain; belief in one's self, understanding of stress, of struggle, of suffering---these put into mind the course to correct from, the modifiers from which come aligned behavior.
O wisdom of the ages, please rocket me to peace, please have me honor thou, honor those upon whose shoulders I stand, please help me transcend the mortal coil so that peace may inhabit this form, may express it with kindness and gratitude and love.
I lay here, now, penning with ink these words, trying and growing beyond the self, feeling so many pulls, so many actions to be done; where to begin?
Even if there be quite a way to jump out of the coil, would there still be obligation to return?
Consider that perhaps it _is_ true that truth calls itself into existence.
The more you write, the faster you grow.
Is there a limit to that?
Perhaps not; let us live as if there is not, perchance by such attitude it causes limits to fade, to erase their own existence.
Regardless of the "faults" of Human, perhaps there still be hope; indeed, perhaps by necessity there must be, for to see continuance there may be a memetic factor of inherent propagation.
What you Are is the _process_ of all of nature proceeding automatically; you are not a _part_ of nature that has any sort of control over the automaticity.
To blame "yourself" makes no sense, for it is the same as blaming a whirlpool when it is generated by and is an aspect of the entire ocean.
The broader point is that there is nothing "wrong" with the way things happen, the way things proceed.
What of the feeling that there _is_ something wrong with the way things are, what of the feeling of an inability to care for one's broader self?
It can perhaps seem an easy way out to say: "I am not responsible for what happens; I am but a leaf falling from a tree". What of this?
What of the fear of an inability to care for one's broader self?
Regardless of _that_ feeling, there is perhaps _always_ a way to jump out of the strange loop, given the implications of Gödel's incompleteness theorems.
What is it that matters?
Why does it matter?
I thought of myself as someone who could just do these things if she really put her mind on it; that may be true, but there are also external factors (like bad sleep, food, etc) that can result in inability.
Proclaiming "you're as happy as you choose to be" crumbles in the face of that severity of evidence.
You simply _aren't_ in control of your life; the faster you integrate that, the faster you can move forward.
By accepting you cannot control yourself in the face of great temptation, then when you're sober and outside of its effects your life can be restructured to eliminate more and more of it, more and more of the nonpositive environment.
You don't have control over your life.
If you want to do something, all of nature wants to do it, so don't beat yourself up about it or feel bad about it.
You are a leaf floating in the wind; you have no control over the situation; you have no control over your life, and in that is true freedom; in that is true inner peace.
Accepting you have no control is accepting truth.
Pursue what is important to you.
The drifting out of one's mind to broader perspectives---such can alleviate much stress.
Does dissociating from the body, and associating with another situation, help?
How does this relate with the raising-up of importance of memory, of finessing your own situation to increase good memories?
If what you are after is a specific thing (in the case of certain mindtech techniques, perhaps a dissociation with present body, generation of a new, and association with that), then what is important, perhaps, is the _memory_ of having it, the _memory_ of having "earned" it.
The most important seems to be the generated _memory_.
Pain now in service of future memory can feel like you never "arrive", though, perhaps.
"I will bear this pain now because my futureself will want this to be done, and I am going to forget the pain and keep the accomplishment."
Life lived like this can feel like a life constantly lived for another, with no purpose in and of itself, perhaps.
This technique does have high utility, perhaps.
"I am going to bear this pain because I will forget it."
Treat life like this, and what have you left?
There does seem a more fundamental point, which is perhaps peeking out but has not been made tangible.
In this present locale something about this memory-manipulation feels suspect, feels "icky", but there is deeper truth to it, too. Something about it is right; something about it is flawed.
The feeling of it being "icky", distasteful---is that a reaction from a baser part, from a part that doesn't want to be rightly convinced to do the work?
What is the benefit of thinking in terms of the fallibility of memory?
If you plan activities and actions based on the idea that you will forget some of them (which is arguably one of the easier mindtech phenomena to induce (eg break chains of memes (packets of information) rather than connect them)), for whom are you living?
Are you living for yourself?
Who are "you"?
Are you the rememberer?
Are you the experiencer?
Are you both?
If you abstract away from the idea of being only one "thing", and think in terms of being a _process_, composed of "sub-processes" all interacting, perhaps that will aid in the search for how to orient life.
Where do you really go with that?
Where are you led with the idea of being "processes", of being neither the experiencer nor rememberer, but something _more_, something _else_?
Perhaps the "rememberer" is in fact an "experiencer" of selective memories.
Purposefully taking advantage of memory's selective resurrection can help in life.
Perhaps the trick while performing this mindtech is to experience the gratitude from the futureself, right then while performing the unpleasant task.
It is not that all bite must abolish itself; it is more that indeed the futureself _is_ thankful, it's simply beyond, outside of, presentself's ability to perceive, until it grows enough to forget the pain and still reap the reward from it.
An example, currently experienced, is with penning at this very moment.
It's a pain in the fuckin' ass to write, sometimes; essaying like this can be really fucking mentally tiring.
Yet now I (present, experiencing-self) am feeling the thankfulness of future, remembering-self ("the more you write, the faster you grow"), and so it is easier to bear the burden.
Trivial (by comparison) hurts can still persuade the fickle experiencing-self, which by definition is living in the moment, not experiencing the broader scope; it realizes some of its pains will be glossed over, though, and in so doing, and knowing, is deep power.
What are the effects of recognizing that memories can be purposefully forgotten?
Hopefully this experiencing-self has aided your quest for meaning and purpose and joy and fun and interesting experiences, dear future-perceiver.
Consider the "glossing over" of certain experiences (which is probably an eternal issue, given that even with infinitely-precise recoverable memory, there may still be limits to the speed of computation (eg a limit may be the speed of light), and so a prioritization of memory must always occur, perhaps).
How to apply this to life, to broader living?
How does knowing you will forget the pain change how you approach life, approach living?
What is the next step?
What are you going to do next, after finishing this, now?
What is there to do?
What is the next thing to do?
Is there one?
Do you know one?
How do you find out, if you don't know what to do?
I have general ideas about what to do; why does it seem so hard to execute on it?
Why does it seem so hard to do this?
Why does it seem so hard to _actually_ get done what will give inner peace?
What is it that makes life this way?
None of this matters, though, does it?
Or does it matter?
Have faith and keep using the experiencing-self's forgetfulness to the remembering-self's benefit.
Use the ability to forget pain and do things that your future remembering-self is thanking you for.
How do you help people?
What's next on your agenda?
What's the next thing to do to give more peace of mind?
Given a multitude of options for the day's activities, what sort of procedures, what sort of behaviors, what sort of outcomes and actions do you want to have and take?
If you could snap your fingers and suddenly find yourself in a new location with the thing having been done, with the outcome being had, what would you want it to be?
Knowing how to directly help would be great.
How did you do, given your aims?
What was accomplished, what was produced, what was enjoyed, what will be remembered?
What else was accomplished, what else was done, what else was made, what else will be remembered?
There are effective mindtech techniques, such as describing the pain as a shape and color and diminishing them.
What is the next step, what are some of the goals and directives and objectives and wished-for-have-happeneds?
What are some things that you wish you could remember as having done, and could use their finishedness to help you accomplish even bigger dreams, even bigger wants?
How did it go, dear future-perceiver?
It's slower to wait and have a discussion, but it's more effective, fruitful, ultimately more efficient, given the Longgame.
There's still some inertia; such there perhaps must always be, in some direction or another, some dimension or another; momentum to create is a type of inertia against resting.
What _was_ accomplished?
There are no coincidences in nature.
What is there about this "forgetfulness" mechanic (what should it be called? perhaps "memory hacking"?), this feeling of "it can safely be ignored then forgotten" (to use qwantz's somewhat-related phrasing).
If you could snap your fingers and have something done, what would it be?
What would you most benefit from having evidence of (including knowledge of a particular thing), if everything were equally easy, merely a snap of the fingers and it would be yours?
Do you have an idea of what, or is it to have the knowledge of what would be most helpful?
From the point of view of _being_ memory, _being_ _only_ memory, and nothing more,, then, if memory has the property of forgetfulness, you have an advantage---you can use this property to essentially "cut out" the unpleasantries, so all you're left with is essentially the end result, the final product, the recording, the evidence.
While it's happening, while it's being experienced, this feeling of being editable memory, you're being constantly thanked by your futureself, and constantly thanking your pastselves for their painstaking efforts, for the fruits of their labor, while simultaneously being thanked by your _future_selves, yet knowing that your own struggles, the pain you're feeling right now can be safely ignored and then forgotten.
What is next?
Where do you go from here, if you can have anything you want, essentially, and can be made to forget the pain of actually getting it?
When exercising, perhaps you can go for those few extra reps at the end of the exercise, knowing you will forget the pain but keep the result; often the most important repetitions when physically exercising are the last few.
Finding a mathematical, abstractive point of view, a different way to frame the whole idea, is a big hack when seeking to remember more fun and interesting experiences.
An example: Closing of the eyes and forgetting to open them.
Sans the experience of mindfulness, sans this self-perception of automaticity---what be there?
If you are indeed able to reconstruct the behavior, the philosophy of self-memory hacking, self-reference and redefinition of reference to self, what would you be able to do, what would you be able to achieve, what would you have no effort in making happen?
The reconstituting of framework of typical-life from that of "I am a person going through time" toward perhaps a more accurate "what exists are snapshots of experience, with most of the details inaccessible because of prioritization of more helpful-in-replication ones".
Such does not necessarily reveal true nature, of course; there is great helpfulness in ability to work with temporary models, models that perhaps can be seen as scaffolding.
Even with knowledge of mixed perception (ie perception of "timelineness" versus perception of "snapshotness"), that perhaps doesn't mean inherent immediate advantage.
This idea of "snapshots" (to stick a temporary label on it) might hold great helpfulness, especially if well finessed at initial discovery and exploration.
A model so deep and yet so simple---it is amazing to be discovered now. It feels this has taken so long for this self-aware pattern to realize.
Perhaps the exciting implication is that further discoveries of import will be made in the future, too.